Last night Alexis and I went to a screening of a movie on the Lower East Side. I want to refrain from mentioning the title of the movie because of its graphic and crass nature. (I should have read the plot before seeing it.) But I told her my big secret and I felt so sad after. I knew if this does come to pass, that our relationship will dramatically change. I know it will never be the same. Last night I thought back to when she was pregnant with MIchelle and I knew then our relationship was going to change. That she was on the cusp of something awesome: Motherhood. And now I am wondering if I am about to turn the page on a new chapter in my life. Is it finally my turn, this is what I always wanted and I am so sad about how its going to totally change everything I hold dear. But, I know I am not doing it for me, but my heavenly father. I want to honor Him and do His will for my life, because only good can come of it. I only want to do whatever glorifies Him and that brings glory to His kingdom.
Its now 8:30am and I am at work, smh, with a big deadline hanging over my head. I will add pics later.
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